Jim Wheeler
Well-known member
- Joined
- Jan 11, 2014
- Messages
- 904
A man is browsing in a pet shop, and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch.
>
>
> It doesn't have any feet or legs.
>
> The guy says aloud, 'Oh dear! I wonder what happened to this Parrot?'
>
> The parrot says, 'I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot.'
>
> 'OMG!,' the guy replies. 'You actually understood, and answered me!'
>
> 'Yes, every word,' says the parrot. 'I happen to be a highly intelligent, and a thoroughly educated
Bird
>
> 'Oh really?' the man asks. 'Then answer this, how do you hang onto your perch without any
Feet?'
>
> 'Well,' says the parrot, 'this is very embarrassing but since
You asked I wrap my todger around this wooden bar, like a little hook.
You can't see it because of my feathers.'
>
> 'Wow,' says the guy. 'You really can understand, and can speak
English, can't you?'
>
> 'Actually, says the parrot, 'I speak both Spanish and English,
And I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic,
Politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy.
> I'm especially good at ornithology. You really ought to buy me,
I'd be a great companion.'
>
> The guy looks at the £200.00 price tag.
>
> 'Sorry, but I just can't afford that.'
>
> 'Pssssssst,' says the parrot, 'I'm defective, so the truth is,
Nobody wants me, cause I don't have any feet. You can probably get me
For £20, just make the guy an offer!'
>
> The guy offers £20, and walks out with the parrot.
>
> Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of
Humour, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything,
He sympathizes, and he's insightful. The guy is delighted.
>
> One day the guy comes home from work, and the parrot goes,
'Psssssssssssst,' and motions him over with one wing.
>
> 'I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about
Your wife, and the UPS man.'
>
> 'What are you talking about?' asks the guy.
>
> 'When he delivered a package today, your wife greeted him at the
Door, in a sheer black nightie.'
>
> 'WHAT???' the guy asks incredulously.
>
> 'THEN what happened?'
>
> 'Well, he came into the house, and lifted up her nightie, and
Began petting her all over,' reported the parrot.
>
> 'NO!' he exclaims, 'and she let him?'
>
> 'Yes.
>
> Then he continued taking off the nightie, got down on his knees,
And began to kiss her all over.'
>
> Then the frantic guy demands,
>
> 'THEN WHAT HAPPENED ?
>
>
> Dunno, says the parrot, 'I got an erection and fell off me perch!!
>
>
> It doesn't have any feet or legs.
>
> The guy says aloud, 'Oh dear! I wonder what happened to this Parrot?'
>
> The parrot says, 'I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot.'
>
> 'OMG!,' the guy replies. 'You actually understood, and answered me!'
>
> 'Yes, every word,' says the parrot. 'I happen to be a highly intelligent, and a thoroughly educated
Bird
>
> 'Oh really?' the man asks. 'Then answer this, how do you hang onto your perch without any
Feet?'
>
> 'Well,' says the parrot, 'this is very embarrassing but since
You asked I wrap my todger around this wooden bar, like a little hook.
You can't see it because of my feathers.'
>
> 'Wow,' says the guy. 'You really can understand, and can speak
English, can't you?'
>
> 'Actually, says the parrot, 'I speak both Spanish and English,
And I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic,
Politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy.
> I'm especially good at ornithology. You really ought to buy me,
I'd be a great companion.'
>
> The guy looks at the £200.00 price tag.
>
> 'Sorry, but I just can't afford that.'
>
> 'Pssssssst,' says the parrot, 'I'm defective, so the truth is,
Nobody wants me, cause I don't have any feet. You can probably get me
For £20, just make the guy an offer!'
>
> The guy offers £20, and walks out with the parrot.
>
> Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of
Humour, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything,
He sympathizes, and he's insightful. The guy is delighted.
>
> One day the guy comes home from work, and the parrot goes,
'Psssssssssssst,' and motions him over with one wing.
>
> 'I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about
Your wife, and the UPS man.'
>
> 'What are you talking about?' asks the guy.
>
> 'When he delivered a package today, your wife greeted him at the
Door, in a sheer black nightie.'
>
> 'WHAT???' the guy asks incredulously.
>
> 'THEN what happened?'
>
> 'Well, he came into the house, and lifted up her nightie, and
Began petting her all over,' reported the parrot.
>
> 'NO!' he exclaims, 'and she let him?'
>
> 'Yes.
>
> Then he continued taking off the nightie, got down on his knees,
And began to kiss her all over.'
>
> Then the frantic guy demands,
>
> 'THEN WHAT HAPPENED ?
>
>
> Dunno, says the parrot, 'I got an erection and fell off me perch!!
