FOR A HAPPY LIFE:

[Wonko the Sane]

1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, cooks from time to time, cleans up, and has a job.
2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh.
3. It's important to have a woman who you can trust, and doesn't lie to you. 
4. It's important to have a woman who is good in bed, and likes to be with you. 
5. It's very, very important that these four women do not know each other or you could end up dead.

 

[Finners]

Ha ha ha. I would say its important that Woman 4 has similar traits to Woman 3 ?

 

[Ian Lawrence]

Of course, the correct answer is to say they are all the same Woman.  :angel:

Yeah right! In your dreams.   :devil:

 

[Salopian]

In my case 5. is irrelevant.

 4. My Wife is very Naughty in bed ( she pulls the Duvet off me ). But most importantly  what you guys were thinking about for number 4 is mostly in your imagination and probably only a very distant memory .

But of course it is nice to dream.

 

[Will Hewland]

Sorry if you have heard before, but I like this:

A wealthy man has three girlfriends on the go and his life is chaos of course. His best friend tells him he has to sort this out, grow up and pick a wife. But how? The friend suggests that he gives each girl £10,000 and watches what they do with it. 

One girl blows the lot on shoes, handbags, spa treatments and other selfish things.

Another spends it all on presents for her man.

The last donates the money to worthy causes and does some lasting good.

So, his friend says "Which one did you choose"? 

"The one with the big tits" comes the reply..

 

[Will Hewland]

I love that two ladies hit the like button immediately, then it went quiet. ?

 

[Doctor Lecter]

ah well cant complain one out of five aint bad ,    I had sex once  and asked the lady , how was it for you ,  bloody awful  she replied ,   well I thoroughly enjoyed it  I told her  and 50% is a damn good average .    :lol:

 

[Nimbusgb]

An old sea captain is getting his end away whilst on shore leave with a lady of questionable repute.

'How am I doing' he asks.

'Well skipper' she answers 'You're doing about 3 knots'

'3 knots' says he ' What do you mean?'

'It's not hard, It's not in and you are NOT getting your money back' she replies.