Wonko the Sane
Well-known member
I was standing at the bar one night, minding my own business.
This fat ugly chick came up behind me, grabbed my ass and said,
"You're kind of cute you gotta a phone number?"
I said, "Yea you gotta pen?"
She said "Yea", I got a pen".
I said, "You better get back in it before the farmer misses you".
Cost me 6 stitches
****
Cowboy: "Give me 3 packets of condoms, please."
Cashier: "Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?"
Cowboy: "Nah.. She's purty good lookin'....."
***************
I was talking to a girl in the bar last night. She said,
"If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right."
I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you."
****
***********
I was telling a girl in the pub about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her ****s.
"Really" she said, "Go on then...try."
After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and said, "Come on, what day was I born?"
I said, "Yesterday."
****
***********
I got caught taking a pee in the swimming pool today.
The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in.
****
***********
I went to the pub last night and saw a fat chick dancing on a table. I said, "Good legs."
The girl giggled and said, "Do you really think so."
I said, "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."
****
This fat ugly chick came up behind me, grabbed my ass and said,
"You're kind of cute you gotta a phone number?"
I said, "Yea you gotta pen?"
She said "Yea", I got a pen".
I said, "You better get back in it before the farmer misses you".
Cost me 6 stitches
****
Cowboy: "Give me 3 packets of condoms, please."
Cashier: "Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?"
Cowboy: "Nah.. She's purty good lookin'....."
***************
I was talking to a girl in the bar last night. She said,
"If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right."
I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you."
****
***********
I was telling a girl in the pub about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her ****s.
"Really" she said, "Go on then...try."
After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and said, "Come on, what day was I born?"
I said, "Yesterday."
****
***********
I got caught taking a pee in the swimming pool today.
The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in.
****
***********
I went to the pub last night and saw a fat chick dancing on a table. I said, "Good legs."
The girl giggled and said, "Do you really think so."
I said, "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."
****
