Wonko the Sane
Well-known member
At dawn the telephone rings, "Hello, Senor R0sso? This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house." R0sso, "Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?" "Um, I am just calling to advise you, Senor R0sso, that your parrot, he is dead". R0sso, "My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?" "Si, Senor R0sso, that's the one." R0sso, "Damn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. What did he die from?" "From eating the rotten meat, Senor R0sso." R0sso, "Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?" "Nobody, Senor R0sso . He ate the meat of the dead horse." R0sso, "Dead horse? What dead horse?" "The thoroughbred, Senor R0sso." "My prize thoroughbred is dead?" "Yes, Senor R0sso, he died from all that work pulling the water cart." "Are you insane? What water cart?" "The one we used to put out the fire, Senor R0sso." "Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?" "The one at your house, Senor R0sso! A candle fell and the curtains caught on fire." "What the hell? Are you saying that my mansion is destroyed because of a candle?!" "Yes, Senor R0sso." R0sso, "But there's electricity at the house! What was the candle for?" "For the funeral, Senor R0sso." "WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL??!!" "Your wife's, Senor R0sso. She showed up very late one night and I thought she was a thief, so I shot her with your new Kreighoff Limited Edition Custom Gold Engraved Trap Special with the custom Exhibition Grade Stock. SILENCE... LONG SILENCE...VERY LONG SILENCE. "Ernesto, if you scratched that shotgun, you're in big trouble."
