A rich lawyer is grouse shooting in Yorkshire when one of his birds falls in an adjacent field. The lawyer sees an old Yorkshire farmer standing in the field and asks him to pick up the grouse.
‘Not doing that,’ says the old man. ‘This be my field, so that be my bird.’ This infuriates the lawyer. ‘Listen,’ he says. ‘I know the law and that bird belongs to me. If you don’t hand it over I’ll sue you.’ The old man replies, ‘Round here we settle things with the Three Wack Rule. I gives you three whacks with my stick, then you give me three whacks. Whoever gives the biggest whacks wins.’ The lawyer is sure he can whack harder than the old farmer so he agrees.
The old man takes his walking stick and gives the lawyer a terrific whack across the legs, then another across his nose, and another across the back of his head. The lawyer has been knocked to his knees but manages to stagger to his feet, ‘Right. My turn,’ he says. ‘Naahh,’ says the old yokel. ‘You win. Keep the rotten bird.’
