Brian's Parrot.

[VicW]

Brian received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity.
 
Brian tried hard to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to 'clean up' the bird's language.
 
Finally, Brian was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. Brian shook the parrot by the neck and the parrot got angrier and even more rude.
 
Brian, in desperation, threw up his hands, then grabbed the bird and stuffed it in the freezer. For a few minute the parrot screamed abuse, then suddenly there was total quiet.
 
Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, Brian quickly opened the freezer door. The parrot stepped out onto Brian's outstretched arm and said,
"I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my vulgar and unforgivable behaviour".
 
Brian was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude.

 

Then the parrot spoke again and said, very softly, "May I ask what the turkey did?"
 
 
Vic.

 

[chippy]

Bloke buy a cockney parrot but gets sick of it saying "i'am from London and i'am as hard as f--k" so he puts a kestrel in its cage. Next morning he finds the kestrel dead and the parrot says"i'am from London and i'am hard as f--k" so the bloke puts a golden eagle in the cage.next morning he finds the eagle dead and the parrot with no feathers! As he looks in the cage the parrot says "had to take my coat off for that f--ker"