RobertBeard
Moderator
MANAGING DIRECTOR
Leaps tall buildings in a single bound.
Is more powerful than a locomotive.
Is faster than a speeding bullet.
Walks on water.
Gives policy to God.
DIVISIONAL HEAD
Leaps short buildings in a single bound.
Is more powerful than a shunting engine.
Is just as fast as a speeding bullet.
Walks on water if the sea is calm.
Talks with God.
DEPARTMENTAL MANAGER
Leaps short buildings with a running start and favourable wind.
Is almost as powerful as a shunting engine.
Is slower than a speeding bullet.
Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool.
Talks with God if special request is approved.
LINE MANAGER
Barely clears a Nissen hut.
Loses tug of war with locomotive.
Can fire a speeding bullet.
Swims well.
Is occasionally addressed by God.
ASSISTANT MANAGER
Makes high marks on the wall when trying to leap tall buildings.
Is run over by locomotive.
Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury.
Dog paddles.
Talks to animals.
CLERK
Runs into buildings.
Recognises locomotive two out of three times.
Is not issued ammunition.
Can stay afloat with a life-jacket.
Talks to walls.
STUDENT TRAINEE
Falls over doorstep when trying to enter buildings.
Says look at the choo-choo.
Wets himself with a water-pistol.
Plays in mud puddles.
Mumbles to himself.
EXECUTIVE SECRETARY
Lifts tall buildings and walks under them.
Kicks locomotives off the track.
Catches speeding bullets in her teeth and eats them.
Freezes water with a single glare.
She IS God.
Thanks to Bill who imparted this to me some years ago
Leaps tall buildings in a single bound.
Is more powerful than a locomotive.
Is faster than a speeding bullet.
Walks on water.
Gives policy to God.
DIVISIONAL HEAD
Leaps short buildings in a single bound.
Is more powerful than a shunting engine.
Is just as fast as a speeding bullet.
Walks on water if the sea is calm.
Talks with God.
DEPARTMENTAL MANAGER
Leaps short buildings with a running start and favourable wind.
Is almost as powerful as a shunting engine.
Is slower than a speeding bullet.
Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool.
Talks with God if special request is approved.
LINE MANAGER
Barely clears a Nissen hut.
Loses tug of war with locomotive.
Can fire a speeding bullet.
Swims well.
Is occasionally addressed by God.
ASSISTANT MANAGER
Makes high marks on the wall when trying to leap tall buildings.
Is run over by locomotive.
Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury.
Dog paddles.
Talks to animals.
CLERK
Runs into buildings.
Recognises locomotive two out of three times.
Is not issued ammunition.
Can stay afloat with a life-jacket.
Talks to walls.
STUDENT TRAINEE
Falls over doorstep when trying to enter buildings.
Says look at the choo-choo.
Wets himself with a water-pistol.
Plays in mud puddles.
Mumbles to himself.
EXECUTIVE SECRETARY
Lifts tall buildings and walks under them.
Kicks locomotives off the track.
Catches speeding bullets in her teeth and eats them.
Freezes water with a single glare.
She IS God.
Thanks to Bill who imparted this to me some years ago
