Patrick

[VicW]

An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut . The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.

He says, 'Sir, have you been drinking?'

'Just water,' says the priest.

The trooper says, 'Then why do I smell wine?'

The priest looks at the bottle and says, 'Good Lord! He's done it again!'

 

[EdLyons]

Paddy is driving home after downing a few at the local pub. He turns a corner and much to his horror he sees a tree in the middle of the road! Bejayzus!

He swerves to avoid it and almost too late realises that there is yet another tree directly in his path! love!

He swerves again and discovers that his drive home has turned into a slalom course, causing him to veer from side to side to avoid all the trees! Eeejit!

Moments later he hears the sound of a police siren and brings his car to a stop. The officer approaches Paddy's car and asks him what on earth he was doing.

Paddy tells his story of the trees in the road when the officer stops him mid sentence and says, "Fer Chrissakes, Paddy, that's yer air freshener!"