Santa2512
Well-known member
Santa's top tips for Christmas eve .
Just thought I'd drop you happy folks some pointers as to what make things go like clockwork for me tonight.
1) Its my time .... that's right... ME...
Please don't leave it too late to prepare -- 5 minutes before I'm due throwing a few bits on a plate and diving off to bed... I spend all year preparing for you, so shouldn't you do the same
2) Alcohol. Yes I do like a tipple, but please give it some variation ... 300 gallons of sherry is a bit much, and some of you more stingy persons serve some real rubbish... (more akin to rocket fuel than Sherry) Rum is good, as is a nice vintage Port, or a glass of Bailey's
3) Mince pie's ... Ballast that's all they are... really! Honestly, id rather have a bit of crusty bread and cheese, than those parcels of mulch loll
4) Carrots... I have It on good authority from the boys that there OK, but again variation would be good... Hay makes a nice change , as does some oats
(they also said unless you want some ""Natural Presents"" don't be stingy, there are 9 of us after all)
5) Fireplaces... I love fireplaces, but, not a singed bum! please make sure thre out, or just ember's... Oh and to any of those minimalist bods with fake fireplaces.... lets just leave it at, their fake loll
6) Locking doors and keys .... I've amassed enough tools for entering homes thorough the years , to be put away for a long time loll, so don't worry about me getting in.
7) Stockings, unless there of the 10 - 20 denier variety, then just leave them next to the tree, I'll do the rest
8) Presents for Santa, I have enough jumpers, socks & hankies to last a lifetime thank you, That said, I can always do with some really bad examples to stock up the naughty chest .
9 Have you been good or bad? Now that would be telling, I know and that's all there is to it. You'll just have to find out Christmas morning
10 ) Just to say Merry Christmas , Hope you all have a good one.
Santa
Just thought I'd drop you happy folks some pointers as to what make things go like clockwork for me tonight.
1) Its my time .... that's right... ME...
Please don't leave it too late to prepare -- 5 minutes before I'm due throwing a few bits on a plate and diving off to bed... I spend all year preparing for you, so shouldn't you do the same
2) Alcohol. Yes I do like a tipple, but please give it some variation ... 300 gallons of sherry is a bit much, and some of you more stingy persons serve some real rubbish... (more akin to rocket fuel than Sherry) Rum is good, as is a nice vintage Port, or a glass of Bailey's
3) Mince pie's ... Ballast that's all they are... really! Honestly, id rather have a bit of crusty bread and cheese, than those parcels of mulch loll
4) Carrots... I have It on good authority from the boys that there OK, but again variation would be good... Hay makes a nice change , as does some oats
(they also said unless you want some ""Natural Presents"" don't be stingy, there are 9 of us after all)
5) Fireplaces... I love fireplaces, but, not a singed bum! please make sure thre out, or just ember's... Oh and to any of those minimalist bods with fake fireplaces.... lets just leave it at, their fake loll
6) Locking doors and keys .... I've amassed enough tools for entering homes thorough the years , to be put away for a long time loll, so don't worry about me getting in.
7) Stockings, unless there of the 10 - 20 denier variety, then just leave them next to the tree, I'll do the rest
8) Presents for Santa, I have enough jumpers, socks & hankies to last a lifetime thank you, That said, I can always do with some really bad examples to stock up the naughty chest .
9 Have you been good or bad? Now that would be telling, I know and that's all there is to it. You'll just have to find out Christmas morning
10 ) Just to say Merry Christmas , Hope you all have a good one.
Santa
