That's a most informative post, Stan, thank you. As I've said, my OP was tongue-in-cheek, but this thread has led to my appreciating the whole "banned substances" subject rather better. It's an absolute minefield, and I can now far better understand the difficulties facing athletes (and of course athlete's families).
Fortunately my performance is way below the point where I should fret about this sort of thing, and as a consequence I shall do absolutely zip all about it, but my awareness has now been raised to the point of abandoning my previously closed-minded and bigoted stance of "cheating bar stewards" to a more enlightened view.